hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
