Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
