Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
