just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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