Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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