So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
