cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you traded sex for a burrito?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
