I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
