trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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