This is not my ceiling
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
