.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
