I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
