guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
