Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
