i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
