Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
