No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
