she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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