Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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