I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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