I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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