the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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