nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
