Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
