I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
