True but thats because hes a fetus.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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