Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
