i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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