Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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