You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
