well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
