whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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