he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
