I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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