I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
