I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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