I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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