shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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