if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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