I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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