hotel room ftw
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize