He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
