Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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