i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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