things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
