Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
