she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
