Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
