Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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