Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals

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(658): View more from

Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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(778): View more from British Columbia

nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

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(936): View more from Texas

We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?

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(616): View more from Michigan

Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.

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(816): View more from Missouri

The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF

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