Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
