All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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