Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
