whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I did not marry a roomba.
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