Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
