And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
