so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
