I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
