I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
