There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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