One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
